Roddy Williams – The Atheist Poet

How Much Do I Hate Coldplay? #poetry

More than Katy Perry
But less than Les Dennis
Tim Vine and the tennis.
Less than the football
And The Phantom Menace,
A movie that sucked like a Dyson Elite.
More than Eastenders
But less than a tweet
about Bieber. He’s dreadful
and needs to be sent far away.
In space you can’t hear him.
I long for the day
We deal with the dross
of the Earth in this way.

How much do I hate them?
Far less than Kardashians,
Arse hang-out fashy-ans,
Heart FM, Gok;
He’s a pile of Wan sheet
With his smarmy, effete
And annoying demeanour.
I don’t want to look stupid
Just fitter and leaner.
How much? Less than arses;
Scary Spice, Katy Price
And the privileged classes

How much do I hate them?
This much (opens arms).
I’ll never succumb
To their dubious charms.

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