online philosophy (2006)
i said to him that
god must have had a good day when he made him
which confused him
until i said to him that
when god’s in a bad mood he
makes ugly people
later, offline, i theorised that when god
makes ugly people he might
slyly squash the souls of a few
till they twist to bitter shapes
like squeezed lemons
then when he’s calmed down
he takes the souls of ugly people
and moulds them
into light and joyous souffles.
a balance is restored.
then i had to IM him to tell him that
if god never had bad moods
we’d all be the same
like daschunds or ford anglias.
god’s bad moods promote diversity.
then he messaged me and said that
god must have made me when he was drunk
and i saw him wink
from behind the icon;
felt the smile bounced into god’s beard
streamed back to me.